???

Bah... Cold, too cold to sleep, eat, drink or fuck
my blankets are cold I would do homework but 
my hands shivering cant hold a pencil let alone give a flying duck
Vampires dont like chocolate?
Didn't know that.. I didn't see a truck today, no red truck

I try, thats me

looking at these bandages
its making me thing about life again
watching her make choices about love again
she wants someone like me who understands her frame

someone like me who knows her mind
someone like me who knows her well
someone who understands her needs to no end
someone whose there when she needs a friend

little does she know that she has it now
someone who knows to treat her how
she wants to be treated with care she needs only when
shes feeling overwhelmed and needs advice now and then

she already has it but is blind to
this feeling from a friend that isn't new
she wants someone like me who knows her through
who gives her what she wants, and never fails to

inform her with the knowledge of my opinion
that she should try to make with precision
she has what she wants but for some reason true...
she doesn't want me she wants you

not mine but its called "Guarantees" good shit

These warehouse wages
Kill the ends introduction
man I should have schooled it up
When I was younger should have stuck to plan
Always had the dreams of being more self assertive
And my kids a teenager now he needs the health insurance
So break my body
Break break my soul down
Just another zombie walking blindly through your ghost town
Pull up to the bar to politic and tap the power
Aint nobody really all that jolly at your happy hour
But I don’t want to go home yet
So I’m gonna talk to my cigarette
And that television set
It doesn’t matter what brand or station
Anything to take away from the current situation

No overtime pay no holiday
Months behind on everything but the lottery
Went around the corner guaranteeing that my car died
Wifey having trouble trying to juggle both the part times
My cup aint close to filled up
We trying to build up so we can have enough
And when I finally get the color
There won’t be nothing left to paint on
A friend of mine tried to kill himself to the same song

My better half is mad at making magic out of canned goods
My tax bracket status gotta questioning my man hood
My shorty got caught smoking weed at a concert
And if I smack em everybody treats me like a monster
My neighbors aint doing much better
And we making competition instead of sticking together
Cant save no nest egg in fact this nest is rented
In fact that rent is late, wait
The money aint here the raise aint coming
Just me and my son and that crazy woman
And those bartenders this whole fucking country
Got everybody swallowing that lunch meat
Maybe we can speed up the process
Kill me in my thirties in the name of progress
Put me in the dirt and then change the topic
Some time it seems like the only way to stop it
Contemplate my departure date
Doesn’t take a lot to get a lot of us to talk this way
Take a shot at me that's all i'm obligated for
Apparently my only guarantee is a walk away

The only guarantee in life is a life worth dying for
The only guarantee in life is a life worth dying for
Cause death don’t wait for no one
Sitting on your front door
The only guarantee in life is a life worth dying for
Cause death don’t wait for no one
Sitting on your front door

No afterlife

Damn this shits empty..
is this really all there'l be?
wide, dark, cold, does god really love ugly?
bills past due, the collectors threaten to sue

you endure the obscure
to find yourself in nothingness
life's over there's just darkness
no afterlife, but i live on through memory
with people ive touched, mentally

|\|um

I just want to sleep, close my eyes and not deal
when you sleep you don't feel, you don't lose, you just conceal
just hit the snooze, there is no court room appeal
when you're drifting away, no matter what situation, you're free

From the thoughts of envy, greed, desire, you're just congealed
to one form of neutrality, vast like the ocean is the landscape revealed
no good or bad there is just the here, no trouble to come
I wake up from this sleep, and i want it again, i just want to be numb

Id really rather just be numb...

Disfunctional

To everyone in life who cant seem to get what they want
Everyone who's been always shat on, with nothing to flaunt
For everyone who doesn't even know what they truly want
To everyone who knows what they want but its always out of reach
For those who can taste what they want but its never close enough to touch

To all the people taken advantage of and used by people who we love
Everyone who doesn't really have what for to thank the stars up above
For those simple, who only want one thing to make their lives complete
To all those who will never get these things and will always feel imperfect
For those alone though not on purpose, even though it may be for the best

To all of you in life too strange to find a true companion
Everyone who's strange enough that, they probably shouldn't have another's compassion
For the people all cloud headed because of someone else's influence
To those who mistake this influence for something good and crave it, its petulance
For those using this life as a racetrack... trying to get to the end first only to find that's it...

To all you who dont understand that its the journey that counts and not the destination
Everyone who got picked on as a kid and grew up considered awkward by peers
For all those people, shivering at the knees stood firmly in front of life's fears
To those, like me, which some of these things don't apply to, but now you know
For those with similar experience, who will have to deal with these things as we grow

Sleep well Jezebel (inspired by the random shit that comes out my mouth)

As the strands of sleep take over, pay no heed
to the trial and tribulations of the day, indeed,
you know, that this past day has caused you to grow
leave no sheep uncounted due to misfortunes had
just drift away into subconsciousness, nothing is that bad

so sleep well jezebel dont let your sleep be disturbed
you can get through anything you want even through all you've heard

you aren't frisked, forsaken or betrothed
there is another day waiting, even in prison for those who are bold
so when you feel yourself catching the blues
just try to put yourself in someone else's shoes
no matter how bad you got it someone has it much worse
just be thankful for those few dollars in your purse

so sleep well jezebel, don't let your mind keep you awake
when the morning comes its a new day but with new challenges at stake

Sleep well jezebel with your head against the pillow
with promises of dreams to come, and maybe even climb a big willow
because tomorrow is just as hard as today and even more of a thriller
even more work to do and life demands even more will in her

so sleep well jezebel, sleep in the good and try to sleep out the bad
because with new challenges come new disappointments to be had

Threes friends 1 and five

Again, i awoke to this disease
starting with the hour of three
one five and sometimes three,
thats the nature of this disease

5+1+3=9 which is six upside down
3+3=6,
3*3=9 which is 6 upside down
5+5=10 minus 1 is 9, 6 upside down
5*5=25-5+1=19 is 61 upside down +5 is 66
6*3=18+1=19 which upside down is 61+5=66
3*3=9-5+1=3+3=6
3*5=15-5+1=9 which is 6 upside down
5-3=2+1=3+3=6
1*1+5=6
1+5+3=9-6=3+3=6-
5=1+5=6-1+5=10-1=9 which is six upside down-
3=6, its in my address
1602 apt 2 16-22=6
theyre in my name too
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
letters in my name =11-5=6
car i own t o y o t a
6 letters
last car i owned c r y s t l e r
9 letters  which is six upside down
first car i owned t e r c e l
6 letters
its in my mothers name
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 letters
-5=6
my fathers name =11 as well -5 is 6

the answer is the same in the end
its going be a while till i get to sleep
it might come after you and it hits deep

Too true

When im staying up at nights watchin the sky
i enjoy the company, times never get dry
with you by my side how can i lose
i refuse to believe despite the ruse
that you're a bad person even with all the self abuse

a bit forthcoming with all that you choose
the things you gave away, you always tell the truth
and yes sometimes you tend not to look at you
in those dire situations when someone needs you
in conversation you're polite, informative and passionate

you make it really easy for people to connect
i really enjoy watching you interact
with those around you with slight moments of boredom in retrospect
despite those moments, you're the life of the party
in there drinking hardy and keeping people moving

there is hardly any room for party improvement
when im feeling down you're the first to mend it
talking to me as if i was real, no reality bended
excuse me ive stared to rant on about how much company is brought on
by you, its hard being lonely with your thoughts so true

when i try to reply i see nobody there
a large empty house its really almost bare
realizing truth throughout this trouble
the one that was around was me.. no body double
a bit more alone now realizing this person who comforts
is not so real as im sitting alone with only me to confront

Your place

You know what it takes to best the rest while keeping it close to the chest,
but sometimes life comes at you fast.

It comes at you hard and you feel like you're barred
like jail with vertical bars all you have is a little window to look at the stars
imagine what it would feel like to dream about stars while the only thing you got
is just your scars.

Know your place and just save face the only thing that matters is that you keep that
space, keep your pride, keep that stride, walk that pimp strut don't stay closed shut.

Sometimes i feel like a toy, just like a newborn baby boy. I feel like an addict
with pipes and needles, addicts with a church and steeples sheep with all equals
praising me like i was Jesus.

All i have to say it's needless to argue, about
that one day you wait for wont come soon you just have to say there is
no spoon.

Know your place and just save face the only thing that matters is that you keep that
space, keep your pride, keep that stride, walk that pimp strut don't stay closed shut


Keep open like a revolving door times when you let in and times when you give out
keep it equal dont give yourself with nothing in return or you'll find yourself burned
wherever you turn flippin the bird to whoever is near, who ever'l hear your fake cries
of help


Know your place and just save face the only thing that matters is that you keep that
space, keep your pride, keep that stride, walk that pimp strut don't stay closed shut

Techies own you, and your credit card information.

Il disable you phony rappers like network adapters people with no morals or standards
il take you down string you up to dry on top my rafters you actors are just playin
games while im takin names,
straight up is how i do it cause im fluent in languages
you never heard of im not takin your baggages, your luggage, you back again?

let me tell you about the real world where nobodys your friend and the road curves
let me tell you bout the real world where everybody is livin in but youre just pretending
to be in it

revenge is a dish best served cold but what if you like it hot that dont mean that you're
bold just cause you follow your prverbs that dont mean shit your life is what you make of
it like you've all heard. now that i have your attention we dont have to argue logistics
statistics are 50/50 wherever you go you can take your eurythmics with all that sickness
guaranteed you wont be laughing when i spit this.


let me tell you about the real world where nobody's your friend and the road curves
let me tell you bout the real world where everybody is livin in but you're just pretending
to be in it

The road curves it swerves it grooves it proves that you're no match for the fire like
a match with a burning desire to be something greater like a sweltering fire

Random wtiting

Sittin on my desk yo,, strivin and studyin but i got time for my flow, bustin my balls to solve this math equation while i could be bustin a nut with some hot young asian, chick, haha, don't mess with me trick, i can be mass prick and that ain't no pun, when you see me run, son, i be quittin smokin and it ain't no fun,

but 2 moths from now il be in class with a whole mess of new ass, my dreams and aspirations you pretentious pricks cannot crush, even posthumously you cannot touch this man i call god, this man whos odd, this one who sees you, knows you and keeps his own close to the chest, others might be hatin but i know whats best to be because this man i praise and i are one and the same, that's right its me.

Self improvement is masturbation

Time and space is found in waste
all thats wanted is waste of space
masturbation s self improvement
like vivaldi's second movement
the four seasons are all eternal
you know the reasons, its sinkin,
its crashing its burnin it up, like
i took all the matches and gas fire it up

like a pyromaniac lighting enough,
like a junkie with needles sayin thats rough
thats enough with the bullshit you full of it too
like your mom workin 3 jobs to put you through school
its not fair i lost hair there nothing i do
that makes up for shit that i did through and through

work hard for the questions, go fast with my chances
looking for the answers, its never enough
to just sit by and take it like youre laying down
get up and do something, earn that fuck-ing crown

cause kings werent made in a day that they say,
they earned thier rights to be called the master
working it faster than these other simps
to get what they want out of life

Rap in Iambic Pentameter about Iambic Pentameter

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new
is never to ensue only, i can do this feat
the power of words i have while you're suckling
the teat, what'er style should i write, dames and kings?
I write sonnets while you write childrens books
I ride cycles whyle you're stuck on cloven hoofs dude
I dont mean to be rude but ignorance has
a price, and it puts me in a foul mood

So when you're stuck at home with nothin to do
Practice your verbage children. and stay school'd
Instead of smokin the green stuff and flippin the bird
So next time we battle you'l understand what
you heard, its i am bic pen tam e ter

Them keys (inspired by david)

A smart man once told me why you gotta diss on everybody
youre like them just like im me, he's you shes me its all unity
individualism is key to my survival
but that dont mean that everyone else is trivial
like a pursuit in life that i follow
but why does it sometimes turn out so hollow

Sometimes i write with ideas in mind
sometimes i only rhyme with one of a kind
meaningful to many, meaningful to some
sometimes only one understands by the time its done

cause when im writing it the words they glide off the keys
no matter how i try everyone is hard to please
Its sometimes more like poetry, i know, its a disease
and the only cure i know is to keep typin on them keys

Big Werds (Everyday)

Everyday is an everlasting explosion of
exorbitant emotion, or is it elegy,?
though its found often in our own energy
this phase to customarily conduct our code of
conduct through a very unnatural conduit
and not to mention our progeny

Everyday is open to ideals for idealists
to contemplate and for the contempt of nihilists
this world that we crate ourselves
will always be our offspring of cynics

no longer are boundaries set for our day
we are free to construct or destruct everyday
all day, Tuesday, holidays its our heyday
to surprise the sheeople and question all
the steeples with their stupendous amounts of
satiated satirical power that can only
be equated to the fictitious reenactment of
ancient childrens stories riddles, sonnets
rhymes fairly tales, so on so fourth, and who the
hell wears bonnets?

This may seem like the ramblings of a man mad
or is it mad man? grammatically it makes sense
what the hell is the description of your pertinence
dont question my validation, until you have caught
the train at your mental station

Watch what is said and what you say hearing with
your eyes is sometimes better so when you question
my appearance maybe you're just questioning your own purtenance

Noise just Noise

A day i met much to my dismay
a dame that could take the jade away
this isn't a precious stone i speak of
shes definitely not a thief
she didnt steal from me metaphorically
or literally
she didnt steal my heart or
something just as sappy

she broke no stone
that in my heart exists
she didnt put my stomach in twists

she played no games she studied hard
she did nothing out of the ordinary except be
content in her ways but somehow fleeting
running away from something she cant really see

To me she gave me conversation a joke or two
a regular person, heh do i dare rhyme?
just like me and you

The one im talking about wont stand up and shout
she doesnt look type...
but she gave me something i had once
the she who i speak of is just life

That Special Silence (In Moments)

listen to this story with intelligency
you might might learn a thing or two
as i speak eloquently
while my reasons for writing
while im deciding, conspiring
inspirational antethesi for devising
strategy to cure those blind

enough "big werds" we've heard them before
and while im using time
im left wanting more
the silent moments spent
to friends not talking
are sometimes more involved
than the words used in passing

just like time spent
with all mouths quiet
and you notice that
this is the moment,
the here and now
is the true enjoyment.

A friend, companion, acquaintance
this can be found almost anywhere
haha man but you know its rare

although most often
in the weirdest places
looking at faces completely silent and contempt,
not wanting more from the situations..

what happens thereafter?
hopefully not some disaster
its not a mathematical exponent
its a higher form of interaction...
no need for uncomfortability in silence
take the time and enjoy that social cement
and then whisper to that someone special
, "we just shared a moment......"

Afroman inspired party rap about friends

hey mang what you doin today
just callin to find out where's the partay
its the weekend startin and we're ready to get this joint hoppin
got the homies, the juice, the potion, all that party notion
its about to be a jungle up in here when i bring that keg beer

here comes darin with bitches galore
everyone says him and i own the bitch store
Tim in the door with the malt liquer
i always say it gets me drunk quicker
Cody comin in, bitchin and whinin
it dont take long till hes singin and laughin
Andy rides up on the harley
he loves himself some wheat and some barley
Adam walks in with the big screen with media gallore
hes the one stop shop entertainment store

Stef follows up all small and tiny
big personality in a real small body
Sam comes in a bit reserved and quiet
get a few drinks in her and shes a fuckin riot

I can almost tell before nayo walks in
he brings that good stuff, make the room go spin
Birdeen walks in and starts the party
a great sense of humor and nice to boot
as soon as she starts drinkin shes a fuckin hoot
David shows up eloquently
with the poetry he write inevitably
Carri, you know shes a college graduate
if you don't watch her you'l get punked, *faggot!*

My friends and I get down at night
never dull times but sometimes a fight
So when it comes along give me the call
cause on the weekend its always a fuckin ball!



*the word used in the labeled sentence is an
inside joke it is not meant to be offensive
please do not use it out of context and get angry at me.

PS i didnt forget anyone this is all i came up with today

Still Standing

Life stands still at times
its not unlike a painting
those moments leaving
others just stand around and pine
melancholy with the perpetual stand-still
that is time

with everlasting mountains,
trees, rivers, lakes, seas, oceans
and the continuous cycles
which nature provides us
we carelessly are deceived
and continue to breathe
false, insecure, embarrassed,
unknowing breaths,
always asking is this really me?


not at all living to true potential
time is more ancient of a trickster
than one in Norse mythology
his name easily fits in this poetic tree
it takes a lot of talent
to deceive someone into an ideology
almost at the same level of catholic theology
some might be unhappy about this truth
in which the fallacy of time's trickery
is put in the spotlight anew

saying that it was revealed
wouldn’t do it justice
its been there all along,
not hidden, got that? trust us?
it wont take me to make you believe
that most honest truth that I lead
I would like to give advice
to all those wastes of life

I promise its not too cryptic
but not too nice...
if in your shoes was I
which I found myself before...
live life more fully
do what you know you’re meant to do
enjoy every one of those breaths, truly
one day when you’re unloading the Thule
glance in the mirror, time will show you its complacency
and I’m certain you will find this truth quite unruly
when that time comes enjoy it more!!
because hopefully, with my advice heeded
your life was not at all a bore

trust (work in progress)(1st edit)

Sitting back enjoying the sun
Yo, you know when the preachin is done
When I sit and shut my mouth its fun
Couple walking down to the store
Probably wishin they’re on the beach shore

Cant blame em so do I
I sit and smile as they walk me by
Breathe deep, let out a soft sigh
The smoke off the cigarette is flyin real high

Thinking bout life and whats gone on
Not worrying about what I got on
Myself, full of wealth, knowledge and power
Never even thinking about how it could turn sour

*Chorus*

Life would be easier if I could sit by and watch
Never worrying about todays big catch
Write about it and spit with the microphone I clutch
Not knowing hardships and challenges I can bust
The lusts not to trust and the people not givin’ a fuck

Being an adult is overrated
what fun is it to grow up if not belated
I'm sticking it to the man with my friends while gettin faded
We gotta do our part and not just sit and watch
You cant get anywhere with that kind of pain you harbor

Not everyone can be as lucky as Ty Tabor
Or any other slightly famous musician
Everyone is talking bout growin up
When they just get drunk and go fishin
Aint nothin wrong with that
but why cant we all admit it and get back

*Chorus*

Life would be easier if I could sit by and watch
Never worrying about todays big catch
Write about it and spit with the microphone I clutch
Not knowing hardships and challenges I can bust
The lusts not to trust and the people not givin’ a fuck

"Life is plentifull and sleep is cheap.. or is it the other way around... I dont know.... something like that..."

These sleepless nights i wonder
looking at my blank ceiling
watching the time go asunder
no concrete thoughts are formed
no real ideas are born
just tids of thought bits
the only things on my mind

between the nonsensical bits
there's usually one, maybe two tids
that are the ones really taking hits
on my sleep cycle
Usually not even i know what
those are, buried between the rabble
that is my late night noise

I could be poised to despise
this late night noise
between the towering gloom
the loom of happiness spins deeply
the moon my only company

my partial sanity the only thing i need
as thoughts get more intense
this tense feeling in this
dense forest of thoughts, kneeling
pleading my brain to stop
with this plethora of bits
why cant all thoughts be simple
I'd rather just think about tits...

Truly, my sanity fading
waning, like the cycles
more and more thoughts enter
images form now on backs of eyelids
what are they? look at the splendor!
sleep might be near now
if it wasnt for the offspring of previous
ideas forming, shaping twisting anew
some are even brand new!

Whirling through the vortex of thoughts
still not sure what they are
i just know that there are lots...
feeling lost. still not sleeping
open my eyes to find the same
clock staring back at me blinking
the same ceiling blank and needing

no real thoughts just fragments
i sit up to calm my mind
nothing really to do
at an hour late for even sound
i might need help with this problem
with my sleep being robbed
god damn it, what could this be!
or maybe my ceiling just needs
something on it to entertain me...

Are you happy?

What is happiness a whole bucket of rainbows?
what are you happy about does it give you chills
When you're happy does someone give you a look of raised eyebrows
it cannot be defined this state of mind
its only a kind of feeling that one person knows

happiness is the excited bark of your puppy
when you come in the door
its riding your bicycle to the store
through the rain and snow, to get a beer
happiness is coming home after a log day
and drinking that beer by yourself
because you're productive that way

happiness is sometimes that decay you play
just as a way to escape your trials
tribulations and those worldly sensations
Its also found in your stereo
when you put it on shuffle with
your favorite artist of the mood you're in
Its also playing that music with
the bass turned all the way up
so that its almost like it jumped up and hit you in the face

My guitar is also happiness
as my hands fly across the neck
it makes its way with all the day's stress
you feel blessed its almost like you're messed
up on life, and we all know snorting cereal hurts
but don't let someone say you shouldn't do it
if it makes you happy

happiness is as close to heaven we can get
on this earthly plane, although to me
heaven is what i make it and not out of a book to read
so next time someone tells you what happiness is
feel free to just hit them as hard as you can
and maybe even make them bleed.

Late night mind state.

Give me the night its the time I act right
That special spot like being with you its all right
Conversation, companionship, common grounds
and common sense, its what we share
no titles needed no crosses to bare

Why cant we just be
no need to put titles on you and me
cause in most cases that just complicates our obligations
Pretentious, perverted, loud and extroverted
yes you can be but that's why i love you
why cant you just see

All those things you may be
they're all part of me too
were peas in a pod you know this to be true
My alone time is precious I'm really quite pretentious too
but being alone is sometimes better spent with me and you

and excuse my redundancy, it comes to me naturally
like art, same colors used at least twice
to bring it together and make it look nice
My words are my art with strokes of a brush
my strokes of these keys really come to me with ease

you may say hush, you must have some disease
nobody feels this way about another human being
Feel i may do and its only gotten better as i grew
into my own self and il always save my last breath for ya
as we're put to the test through this night time mess

Some things are better left unsaid lets just leave it at that
Its a beautiful thing to be with someone out of choice
instead of title, if we all could have this mindset
it would make our future much brighter
my thoughts are free from jealousy and desertion
because i know that you care deeply you may leave,
but youl be back at the end of the day that's for certain



**authors note**Unlike most of my stuff heh its kinda sappy
but with purpose, not really bout anyone in particular,
just more of an explanation of my view on relationships
and their intricacies which people love to misunderstand,
misuse, and waaay over complicate to make jumbled
messes of their loved ones and their minds. Haha one thing
though if anyone reading this knows a person like one
described feel free to point them in my direction ha i wont say no**authors note**

Random verbal masturbation

Trusting, lusting, combusting is who i be
don't try to take one I'l give you three
and il take four yeah you know the score
i get mine, i bust mine, i work mine
mining for gold with metaphors
my thoughts or my body or me on the floor
after that night on tour with whores
i ain't bored who you think you're
talking to motherfucker i pluck
you like chickiens while you're cluckin away

the pen is mightier than the word
its really absurd, at least my art has a maker
we aint art were parasites like judas, a traitor
i spit flow all the time cause im the verbal masturbator

Threes disease

two a clock, five a clock, one a clock and sometimes three
what is it about these times that are so special to see
why do i find myself to be so awake and blame free
try to get hold of me and you just may be, successful,
at this late night hour its sometimes stressful
Its progressive, extensive, aggressive and completely free

To be awake at these strange hours staring at trees
Its easy to see that its just me at this point in time
alone in the night which is really just, alright...
i lay my head down see if i catch some zzz's
no such luck again and there goes some more threes
restless, accosted, tried and morbid thoughts fill this space here

drifting away with thoughts too empty
those who are gone now i really envy
to produce the right chemicals and asleep to be
what i would give to enjoy this liberty
laying town becomes a forgotten memory
as I browse these sites they still come in threes

entensity, gnarls barkley, and sometimes even raunchy
bands, books, entertainment and banter
they start in three end in three and even rhyme with three
Its three thirty three in the am and 3 items lay on my desk
damn this number why cant you let me be
in this late night hour only fit for junkies

Id much rather be counting sheep and thinking of mammaries!
dreaming of having adventures and even chimpanzees
this obsession grows, sleep is impossible
not even attempting anymore, its improbable
damn this number and all of its included disease
I really dont give a shit about the number three
so why does it insist on being a bother to me
causing me to lose sleep and tired to be

or i just really need to stop and fall asleep.....

Ignorance is bliss, i think...?

This thing I ignore I cant help but adore
The decor of this life recent, is used
So much so that i cant help self abuse
This thing out of reach but barely though
I can get up and touch but shes not for me so,

I stand back and watch through un-judging eyes
With unbiased advice under no guise
and some fucked up situations that I so despise
I'm sure things could have been great with timing correct
and even though its sometimes neck at neck

Ones always a little behind, or ahead to make the trek
So, with un-hating eyes the company I keep
I don't wear a mask or a disguise
I'm sure its as clear as a pack of lies
This one out of reach that could be a bit behind
Doesn't see or care to try

Unknown amount of time spent being inhibited,
Unsatisfied and depraved
Began to crave something more adulterated
may have tried to feel "normal" or slightly uptight
It wasn't for her, you thought i was talking about me, right?

Everything is alright, this time its bright
I'm doing ok with this out of sight
Though my thoughts may drift, and its just right
They always come back to her-e eventually...
On this great alone spent night