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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

system slave

stand alone in this four cornered room...
well actually six, if you count the hole where
the shit and piss is strewn
time is not on my side in this cell of mine
with my mind unwinding with books I read
the rumbling of my stomach and stale air to breathe
No window, no door to the outside, the
only way I see it is dreams
or the clock ticking by while inmates scream

I guess its not all so horrible, it could always
be worse my grandmama said as she was trying to keep composure
on my grandfathers deathbed...
That's when I found the window, the one place where the outside was
visible, great view, but the 10th floor made everything so minuscule
in comparison to the harassment some cuts went through

From the new kids crying silently to the old timers tussling violently
we all live in this fucked up college dorm of stupidity as time
ticks by ever infinitely

I sit in my cell alive and 'wake
I pray the C.O's my body not to take
and If I die before they sleep I pray the morgue my body to keep
To tag my toe with numbers unique
A system slave, in even death they keep.

I'm not depressed

met a girl that puts smiles on my face
I met a girl that brings me some sunrays
in this dark ass world I call my life
I'm not depressed, its this world its this
world thats oppressing

She really presses my buttons the right way
unlike the rest, this test we call life knows no rest
im obsessed with liking it when she tastes my
whiskey breath, but I digress in my flow
because my thoughts are a jumbled mess

working, loving, playing, hating, switching
up and sometimes forgetting to look
for higher meaning, the truth you're believing
is sometimes inadequate and deceiving all while
the puns work their way into my music

its inevitable this play we choose to act in it
the actors are the pawns and im in the kingship
pretending to rule my world with a faint kind of grimace
knowing damn well that my thoughts control my actions
and knowing all too well that my emotions control the actress

I feel its me and this girl just fighting against the world
while I struggle with the actions that dictate my habits
all in the while my feelings dictate my business

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Your perfect imperfections

It's perfection thats sought after.. the world bleeds and people suffer but its always perfection that we strive for, perfect parents, perfect friends, perfect wife, life and all that bullshit it might be right..

the rents always said to me, "strive for it even if you cant show it, fake it till you make it" This I do, I try to perfect, that visage that is seen as true to be me The things I strive for, dive head first for

but this impetuous notion gets a tad insipid.. with its tireless, jaunt, atmospere, although.. it leaves quite the impression, im not attracted to the notion.. but i do indeed love your perfect imperfections..

freestyle

Its a shame when we gonn realize we the same
like cee-lo,
im steppin outside this hole with my weapon
firing my metaphors with mass destruction
when you realize you're stuck in situations like these
with inequalities eating away at our souls like disease
the spd's scared shitless so they run around in 3s

outside the box is the perspective
i retroactivley berate rappers who dont understand this
choke this, life right out of you, a serial killa
i dont kill people i disitegrate conceptual
idealism prepetually, this is why i beat her
lady liberty, no justice for anyone
phisically or mentally this shit we've gone through
me and you, us and them, theres no bridge to mend
virtually no existence to bend, there is no spoon
like matrix style all you choose to defile
is what i believe in, how can you expect no repercussions
for your treacherous actions slammin them heads causin concussions

think whatever you want..

Apparently, im no good, apparently, im scum like trash
and sometimes im really easy to bash, call names and I do act rash
I want things I cant have and sit and dream about them while they never last..
one thing does last though and its this feeling I have, it never seems to fade..

Apparently I sell drugs, thats what people say.. shoot guns and stay with rough crowds
in reality im hanging out, staring at clouds, floating and working for things i want and have
the one I want is sometimes unatainable.. but I work harder and harder to reign the unreignable
I'm only me, think of me what you deem plausible but always know im kinda incorrigible..

System slave

I stand alone in this four cornered room...
well actually six, if you count the hole where
the shit and piss is strewn
time is not on my side in this cell of mine
with my mind unwinding with books I read
the rumbling of my stomach and stale air to breathe
No window, no door to the outside, the
only way I see it is dreams
or the clock ticking by while inmates scream

I guess its not all so horrible, it could always
be worse my grandmama said as she was trying to keep composure
on my grandfathers deathbed...
That's when I found the window, the one place where the outside was
visible, great view, but the 10th floor made everything so minuscule
in comparison to the harassment some cuts went through

From the new kids crying silently to the old timers tussling violently
we all live in this fucked up college dorm of stupidity as time
ticks by ever infinitely

I sit in my cell alive and 'wake
I pray the C.O's my body not to take
and If I die before they sleep I pray the morgue my body to keep
To tag my toe with numbers unique
A system slave, in even death they keep.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Ponder

I wake up some days pondering the meaning of this life's existence
and how this all comes together to make one collective unit that we call "living"
It has nothing to do with what we really are because we have no idea,
No clue, not one facet of our existence is truly open to us, were not privy.
We do the best we can though, we wear our masks and continue to hope
that someday, someone will see a glimpse past our masks and teach US to cope,
We do this because we have no idea what, or who we are, but we wish to learn 
from someone that saw past our masks and wishes to keep us around or us them,
its hard you know, this thing called living, not just for life's races and challenges
trully living is hard, how are we supposed to put a picture puzzle together if
we have no idea what the thing looks like when its done, is it scarred?

there's only a few solutions, the most popular of which are one by one
slowly you take the pieces and you never know when you're done but you have fun sometimes....
the second is take all the pieces or at least some of them and try to force them
all together just to see what happens, just to see if you can make them fucking fit!
I preffer a combination of those two plus my own way of only taking sections
of the puzzle pieces, not all at once, and throwing those together as i quince.
I used to try to force them together but that never ended well for one another
I like to see where they land so i see what i have to work with, to mold with,
to put together and behold it. 

All in all I still know nothing, none of us do, we spend our limited lives
aspiring to be something, facing challenges, or just plain doing nothing
whenever the end comes, and it will for everyone, no, just plain no.
is the answer to the riddle, will any of this really matter in the end?
The answer is already given so excuse me if i dont say it again
Of course it wont, to think otherwise is almost moronic, tired, and spent
what will matter though is what you left behind in peoples heads, the smiling faces
when thinking of your memory, and then they end too, kinda sad aint it? but that's not the point.
This is what our life boils down too and its the only one we have so what will you do?

Stop taking yourself so seriously.

We spend our youthful lives searching for who we are
finding something to believe in is the greatest fucking feeling
some of us take it too far, some of us only pretend
some of us keep it going and dont know when it'l end
we try so hard for this one thing and put so much effort forth
getting more and more dedicated and against others our time is spent


sometimes we get so lost in that one thing that we lose sight
lose the sight of actual life, we cant all sleep in a neverending dream
of our own self created reality.. what good is living if you dont
explore all things, if your dedication to that one thing stops you
from enjoying others and stops you from going toward something that
you dont even realize will make you happy or give you enlightenment
in some way.. open mindedness is never crappy...

as childish as that rhyme was i thought it would get my point across
dedicate your life to doing what makes you smile, but keep that mind open boss
cause you never know if that thing you love will end up getting you across
a bridge you cant go back over, turn around, take a look back, or turnover


tl;dr... be open minded, and dont put all your eggs in one basket.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Ga2Ng0Sta6 (gangsta rap in less than 5 minutes)

You know you want a piece of us
those who try to run at as
its all a game bitch if you hit us its a bust
we the crew of hard kniccas you know that you can trust
if you a bitch or a snitch we get the crew to slap you up
so next time you should know
to step the hell up off the truck

if you a chicken head trick and you wanna'pproach click
you be welcome for a second dont you worry bout it bitch
suckin dick snortin coke smokin all our fuckin dro
but when you're done, fuckin ho we give yo ass the door,
the fuckin boot, get the hell up out our troop
we got the green we be mean and we just tryin to but a nut
so if you keep on steppin
I pull, out my weapon
the trigger goes bang bitch
and you know that you cant hang

gangstas we be digital, musical, logical, we be makin beats
that go straight to the vaginal, crack, no we do not smoke it
and thats a fact, we sellin to these cluck 'n ass bitches
you should know knicca ho

the names the stp and im a fuckin pimp
the whiteboy with a big dick and
a motherfuckin limp

Monday, January 18, 2010

Entrance

Those eyes entrancing i saw them again
If i start to notice I'll slip and let them get in
They'll infect my mind and it wont be kind
this bind I'll find myself entwined
unable to unwind and focus on importance

Hold on, pause, rewind and come back a minute
is this really not important at all?
pretentious I may be but this is hardly minute
its worth some attention or even a phone call
the issue is distinction, when and when not to




and to boot this is me i dont even know about you
so this point ends up being fairly moot
when you think something is the truth
and it turns out not to be so you end up tasting soot
shes a lot more bitter unadulterated

unaltered? or un-adulterated words are up to interpretation
even with meaning the same it takes some investigation
to figure out true meaning and connection
but isn't that more fun, and then you throw in libation
that's when you start the true instigation