dicks

I don't deserve you, why.? Cause im a wasteful glutton who can't seem to save shit, im impulsive, self destructive, rash and I think some rules just don't apply. I have sympathetic tendencies that come from my childish heart but does that make me a good person? Maybe maybe not. One thing I do know is even if I don't you, I believe I love you more than anyone has ever loved me  and believe me jesus, love isn't real  its just a coout word to explain how we really feel, I don't know what that means but I believe that to be true. So I thank myself every day at least for the fact I found all of you

From sanity to psycho, we wax and wane, lunar cycles change as you toss and blame
We strive for purity through the lust and pain, I strive for nothing,  chaos for the chaos of it
I accept the blame, shame has no meaning to me we don't exist this is true when you realize most of the time im bluffing, the thing about a bluff is its as good as the truth so come on motherfucker time to ante up to find out if this redbeard can hold up to clutch

the damn..

Shit man Its been a long time
since you and I have gotten together to talk about yours and mine
I miss you bro and that's just the truth..
I don't want to think about all that we've been through
these past few years, the bad times, the thoughts, the tears

Well fuck it man I tried the best that I could
So I could come out of this bullshit understood
Didn't work oh well why bother...
Still feels like were the same from different mothers
All I think about is the laughs and the good times
All you think about is that one time that I fucked up

You got it twisted and I hope someday you realize
That what happened was just stupid and you decide
to let it all go and break a few eggs with me
Like the good old times we've had for these past 10 years
Who was there to give you money to look for a job..
who was there when you needed couch to crash on
who was there to get you a job when you needed it..
we've done these things for each other equally lets not stay conceited..

yeh..

I'm not even sure what I'm doing anymore
my priorities are fucked up I have no idea what's in store
I'm running in circles but hey its not a bore
my headache lifting, eyesight splitting.
I was always fraid' of it shes even sucking and not spitting

and i'm saving up for my last attack
when I show all my cards I'm gonna point at them and laugh
ok, ok, maybe I wont be laughing
but neither will you when I leave you with this bitch slapping
I've got nothing left but random violence acts
What can you expect when I'm surrounded by all these rats

I gotta put my head down and make my own life happen
I can't rely on news and new things and people to stop steppin
If you aint got my back just get the fuck away from this man
I can't afford to hang with bitches who cant stand to be with this man
I love my closest family, I would never throw em in your pan

I love that you push me to be who I am and do what I do
I can't even express how much I care about you
and even if I did you would never believe me
because even if you were to leave here
I would be just fine, life would continue down its line
but there will always be that glimmer of memory

that moment of time that I stole from you to be with me
I would always keep that, you can never take that from me
I would keep that forever and have it for a midnight snack
I would keep that on a leash, you can never have it back!
That's the truth and I would think back on it and smile
that I at least had you with me for a while
love lasts a long time, but a memory is forever
and the memory of you will last a lifetime, its now or never

the current chapter

I wish I was a knight in the medieval ages
sometimes it would seem easier to turn these pages
loyalty, honesty, and undying devotion
are the only true  feelings I can think of putting in motion
Its not proper though in this life of today
you get taken advantage of when you act this way

we can pretend though and get away from it all
I can be your knight and you can be my gypsy
I can taste your breath and you can taste my whiskey
I can run away from this and I would take you with me
we can dirty up that mattress and dance until we both bleed

bright red blood the color of crimson is whats inside of us
the fire red passion, it burns inside me as I ride this bus
we can stay together and abuse our trust
sit with each other in the lunchroom and try not to bust
up laughing as were having fun at each others expense
you thought i was gonna be dirty huh?
you cant be dirty no matter what kind of sex you have when its love

and im not talking about anything with white doves
its more like cake with a red jelly filling
its nothing too complex but its just so thrilling
you bake it, you cut it, and you eat it all up
with a tall glass of milk but its still not enough
that's about how I feel about my gypsy
damn, i just can't get enough of my missy

How I feel (don't ever fucking question that - Atmosphere)

Enough to hold you to the brightest of lights,
to place you dangerously close to that sun,
enough to acknowledge the flaws you can't ignore
and recognize the cause of what's done is done,
more than enough to put my name behind my ideals,
and neglect my logic twice daily.
enough to keep me looking for my Lucy in the sky with gems,
when I remember how you used to call me baby,
enough to look in my mirror with detest for every tear you shed regardless of
why you wept,
enough to curse any man who can't appreciate the depth of the ocean I swam
till I ran out of breath.

I love you, don't ever fucking question that,
that's why we'll probably never get along.
if I was better at finding the right words to say, I wouldn't need to write
these mother fucking songs.

I love you, I love you [faded]
never, don't ever fucking question that, don't ever fucking question that.
riding the public transit,
I study the blank stares to answer my questions of how and why I got so many
grey hairs. I take care of the nervous that runs through my extension cord,
and I reflect on that reoccurring dream where we met the Lord.
single file lines, to give her a pound one at a time but when I faced her-
I attempted to embrace her, she looked so fine,
I awoke from my sleep before her bodyguard had a chance to beat me to
submission and I still walk with my religion.
I watched the children scurry in circles around a two-way mirror,
worrying about which side of the glass projects the reflection clearer.
hear the whispers of the wind trying to get me to grin,
gassing' me up about the love that I plucked and I've been stuck within,
for every eclipse that stares at me from the other side of a paper cup of
espresso-
I light a match beneath a kettle,
and for every set of lips that become attached and equipped with that program
to seek success, I bleed my ethics out a slow drip.
I used to know a man who met a woman, don't remember where,
big beautiful eyes and light brown hair,
she was from the burbs, he was from the south side of the city,
this was back when Franklin avenue was still pretty.
two different worlds apart, but the world is just a small town-
we all know how people like to get down.
here we go, Aquarius, Pisces,
feel the flow of the fluid as I swim through it to free my soul.
bush shoved the cane without the glove numbed the pain.
the magic from up above what it does for the brain,

make the love, paint the picture, write the song, the player met a virgin
made a Virgo named him Sean.
make the love, paint the picture, write the song, the player met a virgin
made a Virgo named him Sean.
make the love, paint the picture and write that song till the break of dawn.

I love you- don't ever fucking question that, that's why we'll probably never
get along. if I was better at finding the right words to say, I wouldn't need
to write these mother-fucking songs [2x]
I love you (make the love, paint the picture, and write that song

short

I used to chase the demons away with that bottle sitting there
but that didn't do a thing it just kept em in here
the anger, the fear, the sheer ferocity of the ship I steer
sometimes I feel I would have been better suited for the battlefield
killing whatever comes in my path with this sword and sheath

but then I remember this weakness I keep
this fuckin' handicap that's mine I'm stuck in it
Its healed nicely though most wont notice until they see the scars

I was given a second chance at a young age and bit it
and I'm still working on trying to figure out what to do with it.
I'm heading toward goals that seem insignificant in the big picture
I do sit down and thank the sky I at least found her
I have friends, I have family and a good head on my shoulders
please go grant me the strength to hold up these boulders.