Zivot

Helping the rents move over a couple days! I have new shit I can post but I have a few things saved up. I want to get a bit more feedback on my most recent stuff before I continue posting however and give new people a chance to read it hopefully. In the mean time heres a little diddy I wrote in my native language I just thought it sounded good but it doesn't rhyme when translated... haha so im not gonna bother.

Zasto je zivot tako kako je?
Neznam je samo tako za mene
ovaj moj zivot da zivi se
sa ovaj nos ko je uvek razbijen

Scars and Stripes PT3

"This is a series of 3 letters written between people.
Before reading this part I would suggest reading part one and two first,
they can be found below this one chronologically on the main page of my blog,
this is the the last letter in the Scars and Stripes"

Hey Dan what can I say, other than I'm not surprised, whats wrong today?
I know that you and I have had our differences
but thats no reason to throw this at me saying I'm to blame for it
Ive done some pretty shitty things to you I know this
but Ive also helped you out more than most will despite the tryst

you make swords out of pens even when you're in the bends
pick yourself up
its pathetic to see you on the floor,
pull your pants up
not literally, you're a big man
shut the fuck up

is what I would say, thinking it would be encouragement to help you recreate
this spade you drew is not your winning hand
but being there for you just wasn't in my plans
I played in to you because of what you did for me
supported me and helped me out with everything that i need

when you needed some space to get your bearings on straight
I told you i would wait for you there weren't any strings
after some convincing that you gave me, sure, I knew i didn't love you
that those things you did made me believe i had those feeling true
I don't know what love is and I think I need a breather
the years we spent together mean nothing to me now and shouldn't to you either

Scars and Stripes PT2

"This is part 2 of the Scars and Stripes letters, please read part
1 found below this one chronologically on my main page in order to follow from the start."

Dear son I just read your letter, you know i did i wrote you back

I still think this would have been that much better face to face 

still, just so you know I never thought of you as a disgrace

the things you did are always in the past with me 

I never think of these things when im sitting by missing you kid

Listen now I know you might be going through some hard times

but just keep your head on straight and watch out for those fine lines

I dont think what you're doings dealing with it, let alone these fuckin rhymes

but you're a grown ass man now that much you made clear

you make your own decisions and shit, no matter who's near

but just remember who your family is Im here for you

even though you don't want us to be the ones near by, this much is true

you cant always have the one you want to be supportive 

in fact you cant have anyone at all when you feel that you most need it

at least this is how you feel see, I do know you

you're not so misunderstood I can still see it true blue

anyway thanks for writing i always like hearing from you  

always trying make sure you're still kicking in your own slough

don't be a stranger now i want to know that you're alive 

or even better yet that you're doing away with all the bad vibes.

Scars and Stripes PT1

"I got a sudden surge to write this story, it is in three parts! comment and let me know whether it would be easier to read if i just released it in sections (when something is too long attention spans waver) or do you want me to just edit this and throw the other two parts in! Let me know guys thanks again for reading"

"PT1"
Hey you its been a while I know,
I haven't been giving you enough of my time lately thanks to this road
well anyway apologies ain't what you're after
you're just trying to see your son succeed on top this rafter
I cant blame you for the messages on my celly

just like you cant blame me for mistakes made trying to fill this belly
I know I was quite a handful growin up
I'm even more so now that I got adult problems fucking my shit up
im trying my hardest ma this you can be sure of
I'm stuck in this rut now, its to you im coming with it
and im not even sure whether I should let a peep out

Im disorganized, too trusting, and too wiling to lend a hand
also I'm still holding on to the dream of playing in this band
while the women in my life still try to choke me with their hands
you may think im weak ma but you don't know it all yet
I would like you to have gone through half the shit I have and not be this upset

these scars and stripes ive earned, you best believe that
I wanna voice my opinion to you just so you know where im at
so that we can relate on some level and stay family at the end of the day
as we lay our heads down and say our evening grace

New Post

Whats up people, i know my flows been slow going lately
for that I apologize I'm usually more proactive believe me.
You see my problem has been inspiration
nothing good, nothing bad, shits just stale in my nation.

I don't mean country, I mean this space I occupy
my nation, vocation, my trials and tribulations
but i sit and deal with it as I'm writing these songs
because what the fuck else are we supposed to do
just let go, give up, pick a plot of dirt to dig a hole through?

Nah that ain't for me man the prides too tall
I'm way to stubborn to die, way too insane to fall!
I'm keeping this short ya'll just wanted to say whats up
I'm gonna keep on writing this shit cause for me its never enough

The dreams we have

When you wake up shook and you know just why
Its valentines day and you thought about her passin' by
But not the one you thought it would be
this one you left years ago looks like she hasn't set you free yet

You think of the good times, the times that could have been
how she wanted the picket fence life and you were on a bend
she wanted nothing but you with all her heart and soul
an you wanted the show life playing music and gettin' out of control

So you cut yourself free now even though it hurt a lot
convincing yourself its what you wanted to get out of that spot
start living the life you wanted just for it to end abruptly
now you find yourself riding that fuckin 10 speed
going to school and still thinking about your greed

You think about it but with no regrets
we were barely 18 then, what did we know about love
this feeling so pure its almost like a dove
yeah right, thats one thing we learn above all else
its a dirty situation this thing we call love
It breaks us down as people and makes us weak
I tend to love too much but thank god I can still speak

meh... uninspired but i will post anyway. Might edit it later.

Sunshine on this freezing winter day
its making me wanna drop my work and go out to play
on the avenue, this University ave I call home
Seattle's not the best, is your opinion,

but you don't know
the best kept secret of the northwest
Its days like this that make me miss it,
the summers here are quite perfect when the rays hit

It rains all the time and its mostly cloudy
but those 4-5 months out of the year
are just perfection, you cant be moody!
it stays comfortable degrees
the gentle soothing breeze you're feeling
cools you down when you're chillin' on the beach.

The pun's intended it was no accident
the kind of days when you say "get bent"
to anyone who's acting hard
grab your friends and run towards the nearest pond
quite wonderful this summer in the northwest
if you come visit this one season would be the best

The bus

*found this on a napkin in a jacket! Totally forgot about it, This isn't the new one I promised today, however, i might wait till tomorrow to finish my new one. I am kinda stuck... not sure where to go with it.

Rolling along this 8 wheeled ride
my headphones are my cradle
the grave my destination
thats how my life is run with
on this narrow road, I paved this

walking this taut tightrope trifled
bumbling blue bulb we call home
taking shots to the dome
but not the hollow point kind
its all in the mind and to my freedom

my state of  being is that of an adolescent breathing
with waters of debt choking me
till I ain't got no breath left
and its sink or swim in this ocean of madness
theres no choice but to smile as I sink into my grimace

I feel like I'm a dirty old man trapped in a 23 year old body
I really don't feel like I quite fit in situations
not for lack of personality though I have many friends
people seem to like me even on one of my bends
I don't know I guess I shouldn't question it
I should leave it as is and keep up my merit

It's addicted to me

Dont you just love it when someone doesnt like you
because you just remind them of themselves
In a place they dont like with some bitch that brings spite
in the same life they laugh off and stick with in strife

women are from venus and men are from mars they say
and you keep drinkng till the stars come out and play
you haven't had a drink in months as you tap that beer once.
you feel it, you touch it, you pop the top
you put it to your lips this thing you dismissed
and remember the love of that one you kissed

It all seems so familiar the peers the fears
all washing away as that pale brown liquid
takes you away and sweeps you from the grave
sometimes you think that its your punishement
and sometimes you find its the only compliment
it feels as if its all you have
as you stumble around the room way too trashed

the love in your live is nowhere to be found
and even if it found you you would think its inadmisable
so many days spend wishing you had someone
but when someone comes around you turn your back on one
whether its yourself or her youre bound to do it
with these self destructive tendecies youre bound to lose it

dont take these things as fact its just my lifes experience
I know you well enough to sense these things in you
your face is like a glass pane i can see it lose in you
the mask that you wear you forgot where you put it
in the midst of the alcoholic emotions that you've bit

The medicine cabinet

Im just waiting for time to finish with this rhyme
im waiting... im waiting.... waitin waitin
i use court like a residual time line 
im well aware my ass don't age like fine wine

trembling and forgetting the good with the bad
im thankful for the people in my life, and everything ive had
and even though i have so little all i can do is prattle
on and on about the past sure it was a blast 
but where am i now, i got nohwere fast

just a pile that dared with long hair and razorblades
waiting to fade not explode like a grenade
and for everyone else in sorry, im done
with this black widow and all she fuckin spun
im talking about life that is 

im tired of shit going bad in all the wrong places 
it hits the fan and i just slur and drool 
a mumbling drunk fool too cool for school
yeah right, in school i was a loser sellin dope to fools 
drinkin on the on the weekends with all my brothers

i got nothin left and im sorry
just this bottle of gin, bathtub and razorblades its..
shits gettin dark now as i fall and reminisce
this is my last rhyme yall one sec i gotta take a piss

the toilet is more full of blood than urine
why do i even bother emptying this magazine
im getting dizzy now shits getting blurry 
i think of my family and the dog that we had
all the good times and schoolwork done in a hurry

i remember lucy and how she said she loved me 
the walk in the park street and when eddie introduced me to her
my heart beat, how shes havin my baby and what an asshole i can be

she said i need help and proceeded to leave me
how could she?? it was that jug of jim beam 
and how important that seemed to be
i can get help, i can stay sober
i dont have to die i can turnover

i get frantic and try to get at the medicine drawer but im seated
this blurry vision is really impeding
that's where the bandages are i can stop the bleeding
if i hurry there there's no jury on this one
its easy to see, but why is that drawer disappearing from me

Re-post, one from when I started

Sellin for dough its not like bread and butter we aint kids no more no nutter butter
i turn ice into steam then in to water like convection i change perceptions better than
the illusion of god, no clause, because, im better than yall my lifes got meaning you better be appaled

i dont pimp bitches and hoes i enjoy beaches in gold like im in tropic, im myopic when the rays hit
you know im it im stiff in the punches like tyson but i can fly like bison, levitation bitch is just another word im on probation, facing incarceration, they cant stop me from leaving this nation

im free in jail oxymoronic my life is without the bail the trail i left behind is never enough imma live my life like its the only one i got even though you know im forever, cause im never together im dispersed ive traversed the globe is what il be sayin to your kids when im older
sharin the stories of how my heart got colder, how i got bolder by blockin these boulders
that life has to throw, and haha, you know i had fun with it all the thrills the falls

the pills the thralls, that aint no mythic creature its as real as it gets, this life is 
no creature feature and the preacher dont have the answers take pride your god is yourself 
you get stuck up in your fuckups when you think everything else 

Those Eyes

I saw those eyes again 
Those that really entranced me 
as much as the first time, my friend
the eyes that made me again feel motivated
those eves that inspire me to be creative 

Drinking my beer I was left a bit speechless
looking at her in that dress
from top to bottom, in and out
there was just wonder coming from my mouth
il keep this short but is it really simple?

It might really just be her dimples
Whatever it is I really did enjoy it 
with my self and company included
I love it when we can all be extroverted

The Fire of Life

With fire in my veins i hold these burning reigns
Ive been thrown down in the past but i still find it strange
how these motherfuckers kiss my ass and don't think of the pain
they caused, not to me but to those i roll with 

those i hang with, those i cheech and chong with
I haven't been there for a minute but ive been thinking about ya
im always in the background doin my thing and sellin words without ya
You're still a big part of my life always and forever, now and then

Never know what you will decide to 
you should know that im always thinking about you
my brothers you know, il always be true
true to you, to me, you know we'll always make it through

And you know you cant hold a mic without talent
so why do you try to keep friends without balance
A true and tried brother im in need of no other
truth is the answer you should give to your mother

family comes first and should, above no other
but familys' what you make of it, its up to you who you call brother
these insipid ass cowards blaming one another 
this will never be us we'll never be there brother

Never know what you will decide to 
you should know that im always thinking about you
my brothers you know, il always be true
true to you, to me, you know we'll always make it through

You should forget these stupid bitches that will use me and you 
taking us for our kindness and the things that we will do
we're all soldiers, we're fighting for what we knew
in the past and the present, its all that we can do 

With all these things we all know that we should prove 
it could all be a life painting that all of us together drew
all those things of life that we should be fighting for 
for all those fucking things that sometimes seemed a bore

Never know what you will decide to 
you should know that im always thinking about you
my brothers you know, il always be true
true to you, to me, you know we'll always make it through

Who the fuck does this guy think he is?

I use words like worlds, parasitic im with it
I consume and it helps me grow
but there's a few things i feel that you should know

I stand about five foot ten 
while i write these words with this pen
fuck it, pen? i dont even got that 
all i have's my confidence and junk
its all just tool to help me get rid of the gunk

I use a pencil when i write cuz its easy to fix
all the mistakes ive made
thats one lesson ive learned fix em quick
or you'l be regretting the grave

I got long-ass hair thats usually pulled back
big brown eyes and a blue backpack
bike ridin everywhere people sometimes stare
cuz im a bit funny lookin but with confidence to spare

cee lo is a hero of mine, underrated 
and unappreciated like me 
a walking contradiction is really what i be
headphones bumpin metal while 
im writin this rhyme 
a jean jacket vest im sportin almost all the time

My personality dont make sense 
kinda like the chewbacca defense 
johnny cochran aint got nothin on me 
im sittin here arguing with lakes and trees

while swimming in courtrooms and climbing the stands
put yo hands behind your back, then what do i do with my pants?
im jokin im really not that ridiculous
I wasnt wearing pants from the beginning they're superfluous

When i look in the mirror i love what i see
and i know you might not agree but im better with out you actually
and its time to say id probably find you boring anyway

so take yor dirty ass and lead yourself away 
you dont do what you should youre just a waste of space
and next time that we meet you wont get no greet
so dont come up to me expecting a treat
and while you walk past dont you dare even mutter
because the response you'l get back'l leave your mind in a clutter

Rehab

I could take all the powder to put up my nose
and i could drink all the bottles because im better at it than most
i could smoke all the weed and do all the speed
but what would happen to all the other things i need

it would all go to shit and straight disappear
how many heroin addicts do you know 
that can hold down a job and keep family near?
if you fall in this criteria im not tryin to be dissin' ya
who doesn't like to feel good while pissin on the system

I know i do, how you think i came to be here
im just a hypocritical cynical sonofabitch
and i abhor and adore this chore and this pitch 
of drug talkin, drug selling lifestyle havin
and thats the true real life bitch

when you know this you can chose abstinence
or moderation there no all or nothing game
unless youre willing to lose at it because if you have nothing
or all of it you still end up being a thrall of it
pleading and begging for more or for someone to take some of it

but thats just me dont listen to see 
whether im right , find out for yourself 
you dont need me to heed

so pop those pills smoke that hash
do those shrooms, shoot that smack 
and snort that blow but dont blame me 
and say you didnt know

do your own treatment and fuck up worse
than me, and hope its not to late to heal
youre in too deep, that hill is real fuckin steep
you ready to climb?
alright, imma shut the fuck up this is becoming 
a preachy ass rhyme

I sing for the bitch

Sittin in this bar writing rhymes on this napkin

not even drinking its where i put the work in,

it gets me this paycheck that i need to live 

bless this world and things it has to give

but right now im more focused on what it has to take

just so that I can call this life mine and my path to make

everyone wants something whatever it is 

I write these metaphors for my own enjoyment

hoping maybe my experience will help with your chores

im bored, torn, shackled and trapped, shit we all are

there are just those that realize it and do better

then theres those ignorant ones who dont need more

These people I meet, drink their beer while I give them conversation

this life I lead is full of women I greet and give a piece of verbal masturbation

This reality I lead is inevitable, these women that want to get to know me are incredible

I gotta start running faster from them for their own sake my lifes inedible

Scrambling and giving pieces of myself its part of my trap

while you girls take them away and grow from the pieces that ive dealt.

these women I lay dont know me at all, dont pretend you do ladies

you dont know what I am and how you are the one thats crazy

All I have is my honesty thats all I ever say

I dont even have any rags to go to riches haha dont you need that to play

A single point in time

I feel upstaged and alone a fuckin freak 

still without a home, shackled to my couch

a mouth full of uninspired rhymes these troubled

thought provoking times spent staying up late nights writing pages

and pages of useless poems, tomes cover my walls like im some insane 

poet. You wont be laughing when your walls are covered in my posters

you wont be laughing when the walls are covered in the blood of these posers

But im laughing now! wow! for no good reason!

while shes laughing at me like its open season  point out my faults and mistakes

hang up my dirty laundry and scream real loud for you to see my underwears!

I dont mean my boxers or briefs i only meant the miniscule details that make up 

my insides, I wear my heart on my sleave its the only way i can stay honest and 

not break apart in this world we create and harvest

I was raised weak and like metal I was tempered, 

or was I tempered by metal either way it did me right 

with a bit of trouble  add in some rhymes no matter style of music

I write it all its in how you use it, you gotta fake a smile and 

keep that grimace no matter how you feel or show your mistakes.